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Don’t hit me, I’m new

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I heard a friend telling a story about a 3 year old who had been ‘caught out’ by his Mom and before his Mom could scold or reprimand him, he held up his hand and stated “please don’t hit me, I’m new”.

I loved hearing this story and I’ve walked around for the past couple of days with a smile on my face and at the same time with a hint of sadness when recalling the ‘cuteness’ of the story.  On reflection I am amazed at the wisdom of this little person and equally hold a sense of curiosity at my own reaction to the story.

As we all are; I too am on the journey of ‘learning life’ – the ways of being and doing; of how I am; of how I show up in the world…. And I am from time to time aware of the grips of anxiety that creep slowly up from the pit of my stomach and before long have me in a vice where breath and thought of possibility is wrung from me like being in a spin drier.

The internal conversations of ‘I should know better’; ‘The bar that I set for myself that is by all accounts insurmountable’; ‘The judgement of did I do right?’ and yes when I am in a state of awareness, I manage the inner critic and yet it has never been available for me to step back and say: be gentle I’m new…

And perhaps that is the play of emotion – the smile that recognises the wisdom of youth and the hint of sadness that wishes to remind me that I too can be new…

And what does this insight create?  The possibility of being wrong; of not having to ‘get it right’ all the time; of being more fluid in body and emotion and language; a new more gentle emotion…

What if there is the space of play between being ‘big’ and ‘little’?  How might that impact the way that I engage with myself and the world?

My promise to myself for today: I am new and what is possible?

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